Christmas! When I was a child that word held so much excitement and promise. It was rich with tradition and expectation. It started weeks before the actual day, with the arrival of what seemed to have been hundreds of Christmas cards which were opened, passed around for reading and then displayed on the venetian blinds in the loungeroom.
Then there was the 15 mile (24 kilometre) drive into the nearest village for Midnight Mass. I’m not sure how I slept after that – so excited to see what was under the tree for me. My older siblings will tell you that I (the youngest) was spoilt; I probably was, but there was just one present each as Mum & Dad spread the love around the seven of us. The presents were piled under a real tree which was selected and chopped down by Dad or one of my brothers. In the heat of the day the waft of pine was just lovely.
Then there were the aromas from the kitchen as Mum cooked the turkey in the wood stove oven. No matter how hot the weather; an unlucky turkey was selected, killed, plucked and cooked to delicious perfection. That was after Christmas cake and pudding had long been made. There was hard sauce to go with the pudding and of course it was full of silver coins (my only interest in the pudding, it was way too rich for my palate).
Over the years Christmas has for me morphed into new and flexible traditions. Single until well into my 40’s, I spent many a Christmas with my elder sister’s family and her children and grandchildren continued to add the special energy that only a small child can. Latterly, Rowan has also become part of that tradition although, with those great nieces and nephews now mostly off living their own lives, this tradition too has passed.
I have also shared an adult only Christmas on more than one occasion and had a wonderful day. One memorable year some Jewish friends hosted a ‘Jews and Rejects’ Christmas lunch and we shared good food and wine and many a laugh. More recently, Rowan and I hosted Christmas in our home. We started our day with a delicious breakfast and some champagne, then had friends arrive for lunch. The six of us (two couples and two men who were at a loose end) shared the meal preparation and again enjoyed the day very much.
Rowan has less focus on Christmas than me, having spent a few alone, and we now have a ‘blended’ family where our Grandson has six grandparents, this year means we will see him and his parents immediately after Christmas. For us this year, Christmas will be in the Blue Mountains with family friends and we know we are in for a special treat. We could feel miserable that we won’t be with our family of birth, but we have a broad attitude to ‘family’ and love those we choose to spend that special time with.
Other aspects of Christmas have changed for us too. Last year, inspired by friends, we didn’t send Christmas cards (with a couple of exceptions). Instead we calculated our expenditure over previous years and donated to The Smith Family’s Learning for Life program. We then let our friends know of our decision and donation. We will do the same this year.
Rowan and I also don’t give each other Christmas gifts. Neither of us needs anything and we both love to travel, so instead we put aside some dollars in our travel account. That allows us to have a special and memorable treat when we are away from home and for us that has greater value. We do however buy gifts for others.
No matter where we spend Christmas or with whom, there is one tradition that endures and that is delicious food and good wine. Often too, we have chosen special gourmet treats and wines for hard to buy for friends and family. Last month we were fortunate to be invited by Brand Meets Blog to meet a group of other bloggers and to sample some goodies from Australian Gourmet Gifts. We tasted treats both savoury and sweet and of course a little wine to sweeten the experience. We were very impressed by the range and quality of gourmet goodies available in these hampers and immediately had a list of possible recipients of a hamper this Christmas. If you have a foodie or two to buy for why not check out the offerings. Or give yourself a break and make Christmas lunch easy by augmenting your cooking with some ready to go starters and sweet treats.
So, tell us. Are your feelings about Christmas happy or perhaps tinged with sadness? Do you have firm traditions that endure or have you become flexible with your celebration style over the years? What is your favourite/least favourite part of Christmas?
LydiaCLee | 25th November 2016 at 7:46 am
My Dad and I often pick up stays for xmas – I have no idea what they make of our family shenanigans but they come and seem to be grateful for the invite. It used to be foreigners but now it’s more often than not, recently divorced friends who have to spend the day away from their kids…I think that’s a pretty nice tradition (my mum doesn’t mind but she would like more notice – both Dad and I only remember last minute that the person is coming…)
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 25th November 2016 at 12:57 pm
Thanks for popping by Lydia. Strays for Christmas is a great thing to do, good for you and your Dad. I hope you give your Mum a helping hand though, she obviously cares about getting things right for everyone.
Karin @ Calm to Conniption | 20th November 2016 at 5:16 pm
Christmas for us is all about family and most years we plant ourselves in one place, not needing to go anywhere as each family is in a different state. This year my husband will be working away (unless Santa grants me my wish) so I plan on packing up the kids and spending three nights at my parents place, a whole 13 minutes away. 😉 Your years sound like fun and you have made the joy wherever you have gone. Perfect!
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 21st November 2016 at 10:37 am
It sounds like you have your Christmas tradition nailed Karin. I hope Santa grants your wish this year but if not time out with your parents will be special for everyone. Enjoy!
Janet aka Middle Aged Mama | 18th November 2016 at 5:00 pm
I can tell you truly love Christmas. If only I could say the same! I dread it even though these days it is a lot better without warring (divorced) parents etc. I do love your idea of travel as a present – might have to tell hubster about that one!
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 19th November 2016 at 10:19 am
I have had my moments with Christmas Janet and have had to be pretty flexible in my attitudes over the years. But I didn’t have your experience with warring parents so I consider myself lucky. Sadly lots of people don’t have happy Christmas memories. Yes, do put a flea in your husband’s ear about some $s to the travel fund 🙂
Lyndall Guinery-Smith | 17th November 2016 at 1:39 pm
Such a lovely post full of happy memories Jan. I have fond memories of those Christmas lunches with 4-5 tables joined together and a multitude of different chairs gathered around – fun times. We also attended midnight mass. I think it was a ploy from our parents to get us to sleep in a little later on Christmas morning, but of course, it didn’t work! #TeamLovinLife
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:27 am
Hi Lyndall, thanks for visiting. Many happy memories indeed but I am also pretty happy with how Rowan and I have morphed our Christmases over our years together.
You are right, Midnight Mass just caused excitement rather than abating it 🙂
Johanna | 17th November 2016 at 1:03 pm
What a great post! Not only because it was so interesting to read about your experiences of Christmas but also because it made me think of our family Christmas’s in England when I was little in the 60’s. The ham, the turkey the smell of boiled cabbage! Church on Christmas morning and sometimes watching the Lord and Lady of the Manor arrive in a coach and four while we stood and waived. I too remember sixpences in the Xmas pud, the only reason I ate any too! We had lots of traditions some of which I’ve managed to keep going, although I think that our children have adopted what I think is a much more relaxed Australian Christmas experience as their own and will possibly now be making their own traditions – which is all good with me.
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:31 am
Wow Lord and Lady of the Manor sounds very Downton Abbey Jo, but I can imagine their presence added a certain frisson! Boiled cabbage didn’t feature for us but I so feel for what it must have been like for Mum in inland NSW with a wood stove in December.
I love our relaxed attitudes to Christmas down under, so much better suited to our climate -but a snowy traditional Christmas also holds some appeal.
Deborah | 17th November 2016 at 10:22 am
My memories of Christmas are happy ones but it’s not a time I particularly enjoy and I’m not sure why. But your early photos remind me of mine… extended family and the excitement of presents and a special meal.
I’m actually hosting Xmas at my place for the first time ever this year, though I’ll have a SIL, her mother and my mother on hand to help.
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:33 am
Hi Deborah, manypeople don’t enjoy Christmas, you are certainly not alone in that. I hope you have a great Christmas and don’t wear yourself out.
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit | 17th November 2016 at 9:38 am
The first part of your post sounded like you were sharing my memories. The Christmas cards, the midnight mass, the “how will I ever fall asleep” feeling when we got home in the middle of the night. The excitement.
For the last 16 years my Christmas’ have felt similar but we’ve replaced midnight mass with 6.00pm mass and instead of not being able to sleep because of my excitement of getting gifts, it’s been because of my excitement to be the provider of that magic. I’ve also still hung Christmas cards on my cedar blinds but they get fewer and fewer each year as we replace paper with virtual greetings …
Great post!
Thanks for the memories
#TeamLovinLife
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:34 am
I love how you describe your now Christmas Leanne and how you have hung on to the best bits.
Glad to have shared some memories with you, thanks for a great link up.
merilyn | 17th November 2016 at 8:10 am
thanks jan! …
can so relate to a fifties Christmas!
they were simple times, easier than these days in so many respects!
maybe harder for the mother’s work loads!
not as many expectations from all and sundry that social media supports!
and that need to be busy, busy busy!!!
anyhoo we have a family Christmas at my sister’s place as it is the most central, geographically speaking! … she loves to cook which is fine by me!
I take desert and my dad who is 91! he loves it and we all love him!
have a good one hun! much love m:)X
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:36 am
Merilyn, we have missed you, good to have you back!
They were in many ways simpler times but certainly not for my poor Mum. So glad for you that your sister loves to cook – what a bonus. The idea of everyone contributing is one of my favourite ‘new traditions’.
NormalNess | 17th November 2016 at 8:08 am
I love the idea of a “rejects” Christmas get together. It seems less pressureful than some family ones 🙂 I’m pretty neutral on Christmas, it’s nice to catch up but I’m not a details person so I don’t care if this or that isn’t perfect. If we’ve got some food, some air con and some people, it’s all good.
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:37 am
The rejects Christmas was a lot of fun 🙂 And yes family Christmases can be pressuring and sometimes downright unhappy. Like you these days we favour keeping it simple.
Alicia-OneMotherHen | 16th November 2016 at 8:37 pm
Oh I remember the scent of a real christmas tree!
I love Christmas time, and sharing the day with family 🙂
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:38 am
Thanks for popping by Alicia. I agree, nothing beats the smell of a real tree on a hot day. So glad you enjoy your Christmas with family 🙂
Libby Boyle from Libby's Lifes | 16th November 2016 at 3:07 pm
I love Christmas. I have lovely memories of playing under the Christmas table at my nanna’s house while the adults talked and probably had the odd drink. We usually spend Christmas with friends and family. We share the cooking and make very special gourmet food, dress up in our best and drink fabulous champagne. It’s a great day.
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 18th November 2016 at 9:39 am
Libby it sounds like you have Christmas just right and champagne is always a good idea. Sharing the cooking is definitely the way to go.
Jacq Writes World | 16th November 2016 at 12:58 pm
Christmas has changed a lot for me through the years. I used to be the one excited for santa to arrive and now, I’m the one hiding gifts from my son. I miss the old traditions we had when I was little but life goes on and I have to move on and grow up… and make new traditions for my family. xx
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 16th November 2016 at 1:06 pm
I think we all miss the old traditions but as you say we need to create new traditions. I hope you manage to achieve that this year and have a great Christmas with your family 🙂
sue | 16th November 2016 at 7:33 am
I love reading about Christmas memories Jan. We also have a blended family which makes it hard to get together at this busy time of year. I made a desicion years ago to have our family get together a week before Christmas so we get quality time together. Enjoy the Blue Mountains.
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 16th November 2016 at 8:42 am
Flexibility is the key isn’t it Sue and not projecting your own expectations on to others. It seems to me that most of us are able to find a compromise that works and which in the end can be more relaxing and fun.
Kathy Marris | 15th November 2016 at 2:43 pm
Your past Christmasses sound very similar to mine. We used to have the big family affair with the roast turkey, baked ham, plum pudding and all the condiments. These days we normally do our own thing with our two children. I think Christmas is overated and a big waste of money. I like the idea of putting the money spent towards a holiday. Good idea Jan!!
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 15th November 2016 at 3:13 pm
I think it’s great to have some flexibility around Christmas as families evolve and we create new ‘traditions”. And yes, money put towards a holiday is always a good idea 🙂
Kat or @AnAussieInSF | 15th November 2016 at 3:29 am
I love the idea of that “Jews and Rejects” party! Sounds like my cup of tea – but Christmas is nice to celebrate with kids around, it makes it a little bit more special.
I hope you and Rowan have a lovely Christmas this year.
When I was younger we’d all get together at my grandparents’ house with my 7 aunties and 7 uncles, and a gaggle of cousins for a BBQ and turkey plus all the salads you could imagine. Then backyard cricket or footy while the adults slept off lunch, before dessert. It was the greatest.
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 15th November 2016 at 10:03 am
It was indeed a fun party Kat and as you can imagine there was lots of laughter. But I agree having small children around really does add some magic. We will have that pleasure this year when we Christmas with friends and we are really looking forward to it.
Yes backyard cricket has been a common theme in my family Christmases too.
I hope you enjoy yours this year.
Denyse Whelan | 14th November 2016 at 5:32 pm
A very interesting post which I identified with on a number of levels! I’ve been a fan of family Christmas with certain memories made & traditions kept. As in all things in life, we (I) have had to change to meet new needs and family changes. So, we are family-free this Christmas and while I am in agreement with it for All the right practical reasons (distance, family changing dynamics & circumstances) it is the 2nd one in a row. However I know that I have helped mAke the most magical memories for both my kids and now their kids! My eldest GD is 20 2 days before Christmas (best Christmas present ever!) told me last year ” l love Christmas so much because of you Grandma” .. that is a precious gift passed on to her as I’m sure she will pass on to her (eventual) family. Thanks for linking up today. Denyse #lifethisweek
Jan from Retiring Not Shy! | 15th November 2016 at 10:01 am
Denyse what a wonderful heartwarming message from your Grandaughter, one I am sure you will cherish forevermore. I hope you have some plans to make the most of your Christmas Day, despite not having family around.
Thank you for the linkup. I plan to get back there today and share the love 🙂